1. How can so many people be out and about during the work day? Why aren't they working? OR, what is their work, and can I get the same kind of job?
2. How come regular potatoes in the microwave aren't nearly as good as the one's you buy at the supermarket that are already wrapped and ready to microwave? Really? Is the plastic rap EXTRA special, or some SUPER SECRET kind?
3. What's the unsweetened version of an Arnold Palmer called? Faux APalmer? ArnoldParmer, wienie version?
4. Why is water from the toilet more tasty to my dog than good ole fresh tap water from the kitchen sink? Seriously...
5. Why do squirrels hide walnuts in my planters every year...only to have me dump them in the spring? Do they not remember where they hid their nuts? OR, is it their "ER squirrel food"...only to be used if there is a nuclear holocaust or a rodent war?
6. Why can't gas tanks all be on the same side of every car made? By asking that, am I now a Socialist? If I'm a socialist, does that mean I don't have to shave my arm pits or legs anymore?
7. I actually found a pudgie pie maker for sale in a magazine. However, it was a little to much...advertising the makings of a brie and turkey pudgie pie: are they kidding? Pudgie pie makers should only make wonder bread and canned cherry pies...that's their God-given reason for existing, so don't go trying to make it more cool than it is...sheeeeeeeeeesssshhhhhhh!
8. Why did it take so long to design the roller wheel suitcases? Seriously...they've only been around 20 years or so...we can put a man on the moon, solve serious mysteries, but this took 20+ years? What else is waiting out there that we are being "all cave man" about?
9. How come there are people at work who simply WILL NOT respond to emails, meeting requests, etc. until you copy their boss on the correspondence? Seriously...how come that continues to happen? DUH!
10. And lastly, how come each and every year that I have lived in my current home I get a letter from the power company telling me that they will be in my area and trimming trees in my yard...and yet they have NEVER done any trimming...NOT KIDDING: 8 years straight!
These are the mysteries that I ponder...I can't figure out why I never made it in academia!
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