DO NOT PUSH THIS BUTTON:

That's what the sign says next to about an 18 inch snowman "parked" at the back entrance to my office floor. The button is right below the snowman's feet and is RED: yep, it sticks out quite a bit. Everyday, for the past few weeks, I've walked up the steps (four flights and yes I am proud that I'm avoiding the 'vator, cause exercise is so "not my thing", but I'm trying!) and past the snowman resisting the urge to "push this button"....

So, here's the funny thing: every day, at least two to three times a day, you hear music come on and some of us (I'm not saying who) run out to see who "pushed the button"...inevitably, someone can't resist the temptation. We all just want to see who it is so we can "catch them"! Mind you, it is much more fun to catch someone than be the one to be "caught in the act"...(OK, I admit I pushed it once on my way out of the office and ran like a you-know-what...I admit I still have to resist the urge to not pull fire alarms too!)

I think there's a huge story here and it relates to that age old issue of temptation. I may/may not have been tempted to "push this button" when I saw the snowman, but for sure I was tempted when I was told not to with a big ole sign! Isn't that so historical? Adam and Eve fell for it, Paul talked about, Abraham and so on...from the time man/woman got planted on earth, we all have one very thing in common, we respond to temptation. HOW we respond can change our lives forever, in both big and small ways: whether we give in, resist, or whatever the case may be.

The snowman was such a good reminder for me about how close I am to giving in to temptation every single day, and what happens when I do, and what happens when I don't. Here's an example. I made fun of something yesterday (OK, I admit it, it was a really bizarre Christmas card picture) that I shouldn't have. I knew I shouldn't, but I did, and IMMEDIATELY felt bad. I kicked myself all the way home...to others it may have seemed little, but to me it was one more example of how easily I can fail when tempted. I was looking at this picture in my office, knew I should put it away and make NO COMMENTS, but instead went outside of my office and showed it to some of my staff, who also thought it equally bizarre (and no it's not yours if you are reading this! HA!). In fact one of my co-workers said, "I was going to ask you what this was about, but I didn't want to get started because I knew we wouldn't be good!" YIKES! He resisted, I didn't, and we all shared in a laugh at someone else's expense. Now just how utterly sinful is that? (Don't answer, I know, it's bad)

OK, conversely, I was asked by someone I work with about the reputation of someone who is fairly new to our work environment. I could've plowed them into the floor, but actually obeyed the Holy Spirit and gave an honest, but not sinful answer...in other words, I didn't burn their hides so to speak. You might be thinking to yourself, does she think she's "all that" for actually avoiding mean-spiritness? Here would be my answer...NO WAY...I'm so not good at this. The only time I triumph over temptation is when I actually listen to that "still small voice" and not brush it aside. When I actually avoid temptation and do what I'm supposed to do.

"No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out sot that you can stand up under it."

Paul wrote this in a letter to the Corinthians (letter 1, chapter 10, verse 13)

Father help me to resist temptation, by your faithfulness I know that I can trust you to provide a way out every time I'm tempted to think, say, or do the wrong thing. I know that you will provide a way out so I can withstand the temptation to do what I want, and instead to choose to do what is right! Thanks for your word, for your Holy Spirit, and for the fact that Christmas Holiday is over: and could you make that Snowman go away?

Amen and AMEN!

:-)

Like a Shepherd...

I have so enjoyed reading through "THE PROMISE: A CELEBRATION of CHRIST'S BIRTH", prayers, reflections and songs, by Michael Card this season. It has been a sweet way to reflect on such an awesome time not only historically, but for many of us spiritually.

I learned something new that was really touching...and so incredibly impactful! Shepherds were pretty much on the "lowest rung of Jewish society"..."barred even from testifying in a court of law." Apparently, just not valued in the professional world at that time: the lowest of the lowest.

SO, isn't it just the coolest that to these very low level, dis-respected, and not very valued group of men, the angels appeared and pronounced the birth of Christ: the Savior of the world? That gives me so much hope. If God can speak such a momentous and important message to such lowly citizens, then I know He can surely do the same for me. I may not get to hear a host of angels sing, but I do get to hear wonderful pronouncements of hope and promise from HIS WORD and through His Spirit!

I got to thinking...if we were to "fast forward" this story and plunk it right down in 2007...to what group of "lowly men" would God appear? Would it be the migrant workers who pick our tomatoes, apples, etc.? Would it be the sanitation crew who picks up our trash through the city of Indianapolis? Who would it be?

When God did this over 2,000 years ago, He really did show that He uses the "weak to confound the wise"; that "the last would become first"...He has always had a special place in His heart for those who are poor, "at the end of the social line", the hurting, the vulnerable. Interesting that the King of the Universe shares His best news with "those people", because our society certainly doesn't choose to do things that way! We pick the "beautiful ones"; the smartest; most accomplished; wealthiest; etc.

Thanks God, for bending down to the lowliest of the lowliest...for bending down to me, to all of us!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY JESUS!

Think About What You Saw...

This is what is posted outside of the United States Holocaust Memorial Museum...along with some other admonitions, like "Never Forget", etc.

I got to go through the Museum last week when I was in D.C. It was overwhelming in so many ways. I think having to see the reality of such hatred and acts of evil is a good thing. It makes me face the realness of this. It makes me crazy that the Head of Iran questions if this horrific piece of history really happened. It makes me humble to hear and see such brave acts by so many.

I'm amazed that it happened even once, but even more so that it's happening again...it may a look a little different, but DARFUR is certainly an example of unchecked genocide and ethnic cleansing. How can this be?

The evilness of man towards his/her fellowman is unfathomable. The only thing that can win against such strong hatred, is great acts of sacrificial love...daily in both small and large ways. I think that for me, that means every time I'm tempted to judge, to be critical or "push aside" someone who is different and assign worth based on that judgement, I am in a small way, mimicking the horror of what we've all learned from history and indeed what is happening today. Lord, give me strength to fight those injustices both internally and personally, and externally and with those I work with and among. Lord help us all!

"There's Got to Be a Better Way to Do This"...

Today is the 1st Sunday of Advent, which means "to come". The first candle we light signifies HOPE. So, we had an awesome worship service today and at the end we all partook of the Lord's supper. It was a beautiful picture of hope.

As I came back to my pew, after having the bread and the wine, I was so full of the love of God, truly worshipping Him in spirit and truth. Then a lady behind me huffed "There's got to be a better way of doing this"...I believe she was referring to the lines of people who were taking communion, waiting for Communion, and then making their way back to their seats, just as I had done. I'm sure she was thinking about efficiency and timeliness. I was thinking that I simply wanted to turn around and SMACK HER! I seriously considered saying something to her at the end of the service.

Then...the Holy Spirit nudged me and whispered:
"How many times do you say the very same thing to God...either in words, by your thoughts or definitely by your actions? How many times do you want to give God direction and say, "Here's a better way to do...(whatever it is at the time") this? COUNTLESS, let me tell you.

Guess what, He knows exactly how to do what He has done, and is now doing in all of our lives. He is not worried about the shortest route to get to holiness, through prayer time, or fellowship with others. Those things don't even enter His mind. He is concerned about our hearts in the midst of whatever we doing, and guess what: His way is THE BEST WAY to do it!

Lord, forgive me and help me to have your perspective!

Happy Advent, Lord Jesus come. My prayer is that this week brings each of us HOPE, and that we are able to spread that Hope to everyone who is trying to find a "better way to do this"...

Living a Life of Expectancy

Today our pastor taught from Luke 1. His premise: The Christmas Story is full of unmet expectations. I never really thought of it that way, but he is so on target. Lots of expectations from Mary to Joseph, to the Shepherds and even the people of Israel...and none of what they had thought, dreamed of, pictured, etc....worked out exactly as imagined.

"There is a difference between our expectations of what we want/ask God to do,

and having a life of expectancy."

This is especially true of Zechariah and his wife Elizabeth. Can you imagine waiting all of your lives to have a child, likely giving up on that dream because of circumstances (like advanced age, etc.), and then being told by an angel that you would have a child? What's more, this boy would be named John and would be filled with the Holy Spirit from birth. He would bring back the people of Israel to their God; turn the hearts of fathers to their children, and the disobedient to wisdom and righteousness...WOW! I love it that Zechariah was so overwhelmed and questioning, that Gabriel had to really impress upon him what was coming to pass: he made 'ole Zech speechless!

I honestly have no clue what Zechariah and Elizabeth were expecting God to do, but I do know God Himself exceeded those expectations in miraculous and amazing ways. 'Kind of makes me want to expect big things of God and not put any kind of demands or ideas around what His actions might be...what HE has designed is going to be far better...far greater...far more fulfilling than ANYTHING I could dream up.

John's job was "to make ready a people prepared for the Lord." (Luke 1:17)...again, not likely in the way that his parents or family/friends would have designed, but definitely what God wanted.

So...as I prepare for Christmas once again, I want to be made ready, prepared for the Lord. AND: I'm letting go of what that might "look like" for me, to not expect anything in particulary , but to expect God to be who HE always is, and to act in whatever way HE sees fit.

Father, my prayer is that YOU will meet me, and my friends and family, in whatever way you know will be best for us...NOT how I think you should, could, or would...Help me, and those I hold dear, to live a life of expectancy. Expectancy that you are who you say you are; that you will hear our prayers, and you will always act on behalf of those you love in amazing ways...just like you did with Zech and Liz...

:-)

How Could I Ask for More?

How Could I Ask For More?
There's nothing like the warmth of a summer afternoon

Waking to the sunlight, and being cradled by the moon

Catching fireflies at night

Building castles in the sand

Kissing Mama's face goodnight

Holding Daddy's hand

Thank you Lord, how could I ask for more

Running barefoot through the grass

A little hide and go seek

Being so in love, that you can hardly eat

Dancing in the dark, when there's no one else around

Being bundled 'neath the covers, watching snow fall to the ground

Thank you Lord, how could I ask for more

So many things I thought would bring me happiness

Some dreams that are realities today

Such an irony the things that mean the most to me

Are the memories that I've made along the way

So if there's anything I've learned From this journey I am on

Simple truths will keep you going

Simple love will keep you strong

Cause there are questions without answers

Flames that never die

Heartaches we go through are often blessings in disguise

So thank you Lord, oh thank you Lord

How could I ask for more

Amazing Grace

I've always loved the song AMAZING GRACE, and have read about it's composer John Newton. Recently I purchased the DVD of the movie AMAZING GRACE. I don't know if you have seen the movie , but if you haven't-- I highly recommend it. I actually heard the theme song from that movie for the first time after a message given at the GREAT BANQUET which I recently attended (one of those top 10 life-changing events!)...

For sure I have always loved this song, but this new interpretation by Chris Tomlin, just speaks something to me, like I've never heard this song speak to me before. I probably listen to this song at least one time a day, usually more, since I first heard it...and I have not tired of it yet. I believe what has touched me so much at this way of singing the song is the addition of "MY CHAINS ARE GONE"...what an awesome truth. When I truly know the grace of God: in my heart, in my soul, and down to my toes, then my chains are really gone and I am free. Those chains can be my own stubbornness, self-doubt, really horrendous habits that I can't seem to beat into submission, and so on. Like a flood, His mercies truly do reign, and therefore I have hope.

"It's a powerful idea. grace. It really is," Bono told launch.com in October. "We hear so much of karma and so little of grace. Every religion teaches about karma and what you put out you will receive. And even Christianity, which is supposed to be about grace, has turned redemption into good manners, or the right accent, or good works, or whatever.
I just can't get over grace." (Prologue, Amazing Grace: The Story of America's Most Beloved Song, by Steve Turner)


AMAZING GRACE (MY CHAINS ARE GONE)
(Arrangement and additional chorus by Chris Tomlin & Louie Giglio)

Amazing Grace how sweet the sound
That saved a wretch like me
I once was lost, but now am found
Was blind, but now I see

Twas Grace that taught my heart to fear
And Grace my fears relieved
How precious did that Grace Appear?
The hour I first believed

My chains are gone
I’ve been set free
My God, My Savior
Has ransomed me
And like a flood
His mercy reigns
Unending Love, Amazing Grace

The Lord has promised good to me
His word my hope secures
He will my shield and portion be
As long as life endures

My chains are gone
I’ve been set free
My God, My Savior
Has ransomed me
And like a flood
His mercy reigns
Unending Love, Amazing Grace

The earth shall soon dissolve like snow
The sun forbear to shine
But God who called me here below
Will be forever mine
Will be forever mine
YOU are forever mine

R-E-S-P-E-C-T

I've definitely "found out what it means to me" :-)

There's a person in my life who shows little respect to me, and therefore makes me CRAZY! I'm not the kind of gal who needs to be liked by everyone (thank you JESUS!), but to not have respect is quite challenging. To be discounted; treated as "lesser than"; ignored, etc. Man, that's a hard one for me.

So, tonite after my latest encounter and experience with this, I started "noodling" on it...to be honest, I'm so thankful God is helping me take a step back, and be a bit more objective. Usually, I just want to make my point: IN A BIG WAY...which would not be good!

Here's my thing: I really need to
1. Remember this person is a child of God's dearly loved and highly valued
2. It's really not about me...it's more about them, and what they are experiencing/facing/etc.
3. I know where my worth comes from, and I don't have to have it rely on how another shows that, etc.
4. I doubt I'm the first person that has been treated by this particular individual...guess what, unless God does a miracle and there is major growth (and I KNOW HE can do that...); it will happen again.
5. The results of this type of behavior for this person are worst for them than for me...see: I'm writing a whole blog on it!

SO, here's what R-E-S-P-E-C-T means to me:
1. Understanding and affirming other's roles and responsibilities (even if I don't agree with them being in a certain position, etc.)
2. Practising manners and behavior towards another, even when I don't particularly like them on a person level.
3. Being gracious and merciful when someones not at their best...because none of us are ALWAYS at their best
4. Holding others up in prayer: ESPECIALLY when they don't show respect to me
5. Treating others well, even when not treated well myself...

OK, you'd think we'd all get this right in kindergarten, but alas...we have not!
:-)

The Blessing of "Messing Up" Publicly

I really didn't do too well with a particular situation at work this week...actually, I'll be REALLY honest: I FAILED (AND IT WAS BIG!!!!)

While bummed that once again I stepped into the "miry clay", I am excited that I have no doubt (NONE!) that God still loves me, forgives me and restores me (what would any of us do without knowing this?...can't imagine!)

The other cool thing, is that it causes me to be humble. I had to ask for forgiveness and acknowledge my own sin. While never fun, it sure does keep one from getting to excited about one's self! :-) God is close to the humble, but removes Himself and actually opposes those who are proud. So, I have a real interest and commitment in ridding all that ugly pride stuff, but I surely do continue to have major set backs! UGH...

I heard the new rendition of AMAZING GRACE by Chris Tomlin, and I have fallen in love with this song. Besides hearing a new twist on an AWESOME old classic, there is a part of the song now I love:

"My chains are gone

I've been set free

My God, My Savior

Has ransomed me

And like a flood

His Mercy reigns

Unending love, amazing grace"

Isn't this just the best? I don't know about you, but this gives me hope. I'm free and God's grace can help me work through the continual messes I make: Unending love, amazying grace, it just leaves me speechless.

Two Words: GREAT BANQUET

I got to experience the goodness of God this week-end in a special way. I was a guest at a week-end retreat called the Great Banquet....and it was just that:
Great
and a
BANQUET...

-whens the last time I didn't watch a clock for 72 hours....or TV or answer the phone, etc., etc.?
-whens the last time I sat at the feet of Jesus and listened to Him?
-when was the last time I was "loved on" by the body of Christ? (or, at least let myself be!)
-when was the last time I saw other lives miraculously changed by love, and the power of the Holy Spirit?
-when was the last I felt, believed and knew that Jesus had made a major change in my life?

I don't know when I last experienced those things. What I do know is that God invited me to a feast....and feast I did: at the dinner table of the HOST I LOVE, and I will never be the same!

Thank GOD for Fridays...

Amen and Amen!

I took today off...it kept me and those around me alive! What a week? YIKES...not bad, but just way too busy: too many things going on and too many hours away from my home. So...today, I tried to sleep in (got a call from work: can you imagine what I really wanted to say?); then I did errands and took in a few of my favorite shops. I feel like I was in a bit of a haze, but in a good way!

Tonite I've been putting together a "tail gate" lunch, cause tomorrow is HOMECOMING at IU and I'm traveling down with a friend. I think it will be great fun. I've enjoying making "IU pasta salad" and peanut butter/chocolate chip bars...so relaxing and doesn't require a meeting, a presentation or a memo :-)

After reading some I'm crashing so I can be ready to root for the HOOSIERS...
Again, thanks God...for FRIDAYS!!!!

Ann Coulter and her followers

do not speak for, nor do they,represent people trying to be disciples of Jesus.

I rarely put some one's name specifically in this blog, especially if I'm writing something very negative. However, this is one of those times I'm making an exception. Also, when someone puts themselves out their publicly as their profession, they invite very direct and public responses.

Ann's shtick is to get a rise out of her followers (the religious right) as well as her detractors (the godless liberals) by a variety of means: the titles of her books, the content in the books, her speeches and her interviews. She's perfected this and is quite sought after as a result.

Her latest nasty rendition of a Christian is certainly being discussed all over the airwaves. I just know the enemy is LOVING this. Once again, Christians look arrogant, prideful, close-minded and hateful. Apparently, for Ann this is an "OK" thing, even something to be admired. I hope she will reconsider her approach. My prayers are that God will take this latest, horrific display and:
1. Protect those searching for God from becoming cynical and skeptical: that this would not be one more case they can use against seeking and coming to know God.
2. Open up opportunities for believers to honestly refute Ann's stance by "speaking the truth in love": sharing the gospel by refusing to be a part of this militant, strident approach.
3. Ann herself would experience the grace and mercy of God in such a way that she is humbled and can be used mightily to spread the love of God in a new and honest way!

I don't know when being religious and conservative became such a culture of mean-spirited, rude, and prideful behavior. What I do know is engaging in, or embracing this is not of God.
LORD BE MERCIFUL TO US ALL!

Newsflash: "2007" is a bust...OR...is it?

I was talking to a couple of my BFF's this week (I'm being very "7th grade cool with that acronym, "donchano"?) and we agreed that 2007 was a kind of...scratch that because it isn't "kind of"...it IS DOWNRIGHT VERY YUCKY!

Drum roll please, between us we collectively have:lost a job; experienced the death of a beloved father; faced family illness; endured a family crisis; mourned the ending of a relationship; buried a dream; and confronted personal challenges that are too hard to even put down in writing...these are just the BIG ONES!

Two of us had a very nasty stomach flu this week which seemed to simply be the best "footnote" to how we felt! 48 hours of vomiting and diarrhea just seemed to say it all. Con said she decided to simply "endure and write all of 07 off"...I understand the sentiment.

07 has, like any year, had it's "ups-and-downs", but I gotta say lately the downs seem to be tipping the scale. Write it off though, I am not ready to do. There is something redeeming even about the "worst of times"...Not to be polly-anna, but here's what I know:
1. I have a couple of AWESOME friends who just....know...you know?
2. Crap-ola (yes, sometimes that word is VERY appropriate) times make me so grateful for AWESOME times and they definitely help me think about how some people that have crap-ola centuries...whole lives full of awful "junk"
3. Laughing really can make "it"better...if not in total, for just a moment, which can sometimes be what keeps you going (one step at a time, TOTO)
4. Even when you don't think you can bear to learn one more lesson, you can...and it will be worth it
5. God is always God, and God is always good...no matter what.

SO, I embrace 2007...but, 2008 is less than 90 days away...YIPPEEE (a girl needs to look forward, right?)!

Lessons from Randy Pausch

I was blown a way (like millions) by Professor Randy Paush's Last Lecture. Not only did I print out the transcripts, but I watched it on the web...and forwarded to my friends and to my staff. He has encouraged Carnegie Mellon to keep this in the public domain, and not copyright it, and that gift to all of us is priceless...

Here are a few of my favorite thoughts of his:

"Experience is what you get when you don't get what you want"

On "hitting a brick wall: "Brick walls are there for a reason. The brick walls are not there to keeps us out. The brick walls are there to give us a chance to show how badly we want something....because the brick walls are there to stop the people who don't want it badly enough. They're there to stop the other people..."

"Wait long enough and people will surprise you...when your pissed off at somebody and you're angry at them, you just haven't given them enough time. Just give them a little more time and they'll almost always impress you."

"It's very important to know when you're in a pissing match. And, it's very important to get out of it as quickly as possible."

"If you are going to do anything pioneering-you will get some arrows in the back"

"When you have had something for 10 years, it's the toughest thing in the world to hand over. And the only advice I can give you is to find somebody better than yourself to hand it to."

"Head fakes"= the best way to teach somebody something is to have them think they are learning something else."

"When your screwing up and no one is riding you, you are in a very bad place"

This from a female colleague: "It took me a long time but I've finally figured it out. When it comes to men that are romantically interested in you, it's really simple. Just ignore everything they say, and only pay attention to what they do. It's that simple. It's that easy."

"I'll take an earnest person over a "hip" person every day, because "hip" is short term, earnest is long term."

"Get yourself a feedback loop and listen to it"

"Decide if your a Tigger or an Eeyore: be a Tigger..."


The title of his lecture is:
Really Achieving Your Childhood Dreams1 hr 25 min 21 sec - Sep 24, 2007Average rating: (713 ratings)Description: Carnegie Mellon Professor Randy Pausch, who is dying from pancreatic cancer, gave his last lecture at the university Sept. 18, 2007, before a packed McConomy Auditorium. In his moving talk, "Really Achieving Your Childhood Dreams," Pausch talked about his lessons learned and gave advice to students on how to achieve their own career and personal goals.

oh yeah...

Life is Good shirts walks with CTWD The BR Farmer's Market
Renee's Bakery Hubbard -n-Cravens Ice Tea Saturday Night Live
Hearing little kids laugh Seeing old people hold hands when they are out for a walk
Starbucks Hair, Etc. Mexican Vanilla bracelets Firemen NPR The Click/Clack Brothers
Looonnnnnngggggg naps (the kind where you drool and wake up with a wrinkle on your cheek)
Clean floors People Magazine (I confess) old comfy shorts worn with sweatshirts
Saturday nite book club by phone with April
Velvet Elvis: Repainting the Christian Faith
...

I'm thankful for:

Nutella Tangerine VW BeetlesEvo Morales John StewartIPod Nano The Lumby Books
Freshly brewed Ice-Tea Seattle's Best Iced Coffee The Colts Peyton Manning
Crocs Flip Flops Charley the wonder dog Saturdays Jon Bon Jovi Bono
LPM Blog My new office space IU My fam Faith The Message Funky watch straps Gal Pals
Laughter Falling leaves and temperatures Pumpkins Saturday night church
Crushed Ice Target The MONON coffee shop ITunes John Edwards Fleece throws Ginkos
Washers-Dryers Diet Coke 1.20.09 A good movie Moist Brownies Tin Signs Psalms
:-)

Breafast Burritos and Saturday morning chats

My friend Stacy and I often have breakfast together on Saturday morning. She's an ER nurse that works week-end nights, so we get to chat after her 12+ hour shift (before she goes home to kiss her husband good morning, see her kids, and then sleep!). Most times we meet somewhere in the RIPPLE, but today she brought over breakfast burritos and we had coffee and caught up (by the way, QDoba breakfast burritos are AWESOME)

You know, God really is with us when we are sitting at the kitchen table and sharing about our lives and who HE is in them. Stacy's B-study is starting DANIEL (the BMoore study) and I finished that this summer with a couple of friends. It was so fun to catch up about a great study with a message that GOES DEEP. Something that Beth said during that study stuck with me and I know it's true..."we will not be dumber after this"...referring to the fact that we need to engage our minds as well as hearts in the study of God's word. Often the things I engage my mind in make me dumber (trash TV, etc.)...but Daniel engage all of my attention and it went deep! And "stuck"...

I love it that God gives us old and new friends to remind us of HIM (you know, the whole "Jesus with skin on" thing!)...I love it that Stacy has known me since college and we both know a lot of good (and gross) stuff about each other and keep each other honest in our pursuit of God and living lives that are more worthy of HIM...

SO...thanks God...thank you for Stacy, Saturdays, Breakfast burritos, great coffee (the french press rocks!) and great music...today I'm turning up my Women of Faith CD and celebrating you!
:-)

Saying I LOVE YOU to the One who loved me first...

I really struggle with church sometimes, and of late: a mammoth struggle. Quite frankly, it's not meeting my expectations. I want deep, challenging sermons that make me struggle, make me think, and question, and wrestle with the great truth that God has for us. I want to be around and involved with people who are passionate about God's word and who are lead by a pastor passionate about God's word. I want to be in a body that thinks/acts like the early church I read about in the New Testament. Yikes...such high expectations and how can they really ever be met? (confession: this is generally true in every aspect of my life...!)

So...this morning I was trying to figure out whether I would attend church or stay at home. I went back and forth on this one for quite some time. Then...I thought about how I show God I honor Him, how I show Him love, how I give something to Him and quit trying to make it all about me. That's when I decided to go to worship, because it really is about Him, and not about me. So when we sang, I sang to Him, and when we prayed, I prayed to Him, and when the lesson was taught, I thought about Him. I wanted God to know I love Him, and one way to show Him that was being in His House, focusing entirely on Him. And no, the sermon wasn't enthralling, or especially thought-provoking, but it didn't have to be, because it wasn't the point today.

Today, even in such a little thing really, I wanted to love on Jesus. I know He knew that, but I'm embarrassed to say it took a lot of struggle to get to that point. Here's another set of lyrics that are so full of meaning to me (Point of Grace is really pointing me towards His Grace right now!)... I hope they are to you too. So here' s my challenge: how do you show God that you love Him? How will I do that tonite, tomorrow, and the next day? Will it be by loving someone He puts in my path that I don't particularly enjoy being around, will it be refraining from gossip, or will it be picking His interests over mine in regards to church and the community of believers? I don't know for sure how I will show my honor and my love, but I do know I want to!

You are Good

When the Sun starts to rise and I open my eyes
You are good, so good
In the heat of the day, with each stone that I lay
You are good, so good

With every breath I take in
I’ll tell you I’m grateful again
When the moon rises high

before each kiss good night
You are good

When the road starts to turn

around each bend I’ve learned
You are good, so good
And when somebody’s hand holds me up, helps me stand
You are so good

With every breath I take in
I’ll tell you I’m grateful again
Cause it’s more than enough just to know I am loved and
You are good

So how can I thank you?
What can I bring?
What can a poor man lay at the feet of a King
So I’ll sing you a love song
It’s all that I have
To tell you I’m grateful
For holding’ my life in your hands

When its dark and its cold and I can’t feel my soul
You are still good
When the world has gone gray and the rain’s here to stay
You are still good

With every breath I take in
I’ll tell you I’m grateful again
And the storm may swell, even then it is well
Even then you are good

So how can I thank you?
What can I bring?
What can a poor man lay at the feet of a King
So I’ll sing you a love song
It’s all that I have
To tell you I’m grateful
For holding’ my life in your hands

Because You Are

I love the latest Point of Grace cd, the lyrics and music speak to me for so many reasons. The lyrics I included below is such a tribute to my Maker and Father and really does tell of His sacrifice and position. Thankfully, it also speaks to how I am clean before Him because of all He has done. I am so grateful, and humbled by God reaching down and making a way for me to belong to Him. I don't know how else to say it!


Because You Are
Infinite deity, humbly and famed
In an immortal, unbreakable body you came
To rescue our souls from the depths they were in
Because of, in spite of
To cover my sin

Master and Servant, together in one
Come to redeem what our hearts had undone
Saviors, of all come together as kin
Because of, in spite of
To cover my sin


Holy, Unbreakable infinite God
Ever unchanging in all that you are
Light of the world and the sun and the stars
You are I AM
And I am because you are

Shepherd and Pastor to wandering Sheep
Gave up his life so our own we could keep
Soldier in battle for souls He might win
Because of, in spite of
To cover my sin

Holy, Unbreakable infinite God
Ever unchanging in all that you are
Light of the world and the sun and the stars
You are I AM
And I am because you are

Humbly forsaking His heavenly seat
Beaten, bloodied and washing my feet
Opened our eyes to what love really means
The blood on my hands is what washes me clean

Holy, Unbreakable infinite God
Ever unchanging in all that you are
Light of the world and the sun and the stars
You are I AM
And I am because you are

American Insecurity?

I heard something on the radio today that made me ponder my American Culture. I obviously came into the middle of the story, but the exchange between the interviewer and the interviewee struck me.

Apparently, this was a story about how inclusive and welcoming the country of Brazil is in regards to artistic influences. For example, there is a great variety of music and all types of performers. When asked how that came to be, the answer was something like this:

Because of how Brazil was colonized and settled, the country and it's citizens became very adaptable to all kinds of interesting and "different" ways of speaking, hearing and as such,
"valuing"...

But here's the quote though that really got to me:

"Those of us who live in Brazil are used to all kinds of change and nuances that make traditional things seem different or "new". It doesn't threaten us, in fact, we are comfortable with that, because we know who we are and we are secure with ourselves."

It made me wonder: Are we Americans threatened by the latest wave of immigration and the way it is changing our culture, because we don't know who we are? That somehow we have lost our identity, and by trying to cling to some "drummed up" idea of who we are from the past, we are really showing our insecurity and our lack of direction? Hmm...I need to think on that a bit more, but it kind of made sense to me...as well as saddened me...

Request:

I have a prayer request, so if you believe in the power of prayer and can join me, that would be so awesome!

I have a friend who recently lost her job. It's been devastating for her. She and her husband are also in the middle of renovating their house, and there are also some health concerns.

I am praying for two very specific things:

1. That God would provide a job for her so she and her husband can stay in their current house and not have to move.

2. That she would see and know God's protection and provision, and it would make her want to know Him more (the same for her spouse).

I am so burdened for this, and I know God hears our prayers, but He is especially committed to our requests , when we are all in agreement with our prayers. I am aware that you may not know for whom you are praying, but that makes absolutely no difference to the Father who knows us all!

Thanks! I will let you know what happens, when it happens!

Sher

"I did not ask for success, I asked for wonder"

-Abraham Joshua Heschel

I'm doing a "book club" (sort of) by phone with my friend April. We just started. We call, and we discuss a chapter of "Velvet Elvis" by Rob Bell. It's pretty cool.

The chapter today was "Jump". It's all about the mystery of the Christian faith and how we need to get comfortable with the "unsolve-ability" of God, so we can really start getting to know Him.

And that means asking questions. Here are some great quotes from the book about questions:

"A Christian doesn't avoid the questions; a Christian embraces them. In fact, to truly pursue the living God, we have to see the need for questions."

"Questions are not scary...
What is scary is when people don't have any
What is tragic, is faith that has no room for them"

"Being a Christian is more about celebrating mystery than conquering it"

I don't know about you, but I have A LOT of questions. I think this is going to be an awesome journey, I hope God thinks so too!

A Wrinkle in Time...gone forever

I read today that Madeleine L'Engle died. She wrote "A Wrinkle in Time", and I, like countless schoolchildren and adults since the 60's, loved that book. Who knew that such an all time favorite book in our country was repeatedly rejected by publishers, before finally finding it's way into print. This much-loved book ended up winning the Newbery Medal for best American children's book in 1963 (the year I was born...say it isn't so!)

Remember Meg and Charles battling evil and searching for their scientist father out there in the universe? I loved this book and it, along with the "Boxcar Children", solidified my love of reading. I even remember loving how cool her last name was...it seemed so....exotic and sophisticated.

This country lost something great with the passing of Ms. L'Engle. What it didn't lose was an awesome, timeless story. Hopefully it will continue to pique the interest and imagination of children for generations to come. Can you imagine if this book came out today? It would be no less phenomenal than Harry Potter....perhaps even more so!

How to Live: Turn up the Music

I just downloaded a new CD and have come to love this song: I think you will too...

Wake up to the sunlight with your windows open
Don’t hold in your anger or leave things unspoken
Wear your red dress, use your good dishes
Make a big mess, and make lots of wishes
Have what you want, but want what you have
And don’t spend your life looking back

Turn up the music, turn it up loud
Take a few chances, let it all out
Because you won’t regret it
Lookin’ back from where you have been
‘Cause it’s not who you knew, and it’s not what you did
It’s how you lived

So, go to the ball games and go to the ballet
Go see your folks more than just on the holidays
Kiss all your children and dance with your wife
Tell your husband you love him every night
Don’t run from the truth cause you can’t get away
Just face it and you’ll be okay

Turn up the music, turn it up loud
Take a few chances, let it all out
Because you won’t regret it
Lookin’ back from where you have been
‘Cause it’s not who you knew, and it’s not what you did
It’s how you lived

Wherever you are and wherever you‘ve been
Now is the time to begin

Give to the needy, pray for the grieving
Even when you don’t think that you can
Cause all that you do is bound to come back to you
So think of your fellow man
Make peace with God and make peace with yourself
Cause in the end there’s nobody else

Turn up the music, turn it up loud
Take a few chances, let it all out
Because you won’t regret it
Lookin’ back from where you have been
‘Cause it’s not who you knew, and it’s not what you did
It’s how you lived

Chasing the Sunset: of making a memory

This Labor Day week-end I spent with my family. I got to spend time with my sister, brother and parents, in really the only home I've ever known. It's one of the most peaceful places I know, and I love it.

My parents are getting more frail, but that makes the time with them all the more precious. We cleaned out a closet, part of an attic and went through some things in the garage. We talked, took naps and laughed at my dog Charley's antics. However we did one thing that I will always, always remember.

Sunday nite was simply one of those "perfect evenings": seventy degrees, no humidity, clear skies, crickets singing...you know the kind. You just want to bottle it up and hold on to it forever. I got this idea that we should get my bug out, put the top down, and "chase the sunset"...and that's what we did. My mom had popped popcorn and my dad brought some of it with him. My sister and I tucked my mom and day in my little VW, put the top down and turned up Rod Stewart's singing the "oldies" on my Itrip. As we drove down country roads, dad singing along to "The Very Thought of You", we watched the evening take on dusk and the sun go down.

We drove by horses grazing, calf's nursing, goats munching on grass and sheep heading towards their barn for the nite. We watched ducks and geese preening and onwards we traveled back towards home. Could it get any better than this?

As I was preparing for bed later on that evening, I thought how simple it was to spend time with those I love, doing something so simple that ended up being so special. After a week of letting myself get stressed out and worried about so many things that will end up being nothing, you know what? I decided I need to chase more sunsets. I need to spend time with those I love, and marvel at how great "old songs" sound with a new twist, and how some things never change: like the simple joy of taking an evening ride down country roads with the ones you love.

Yep, a memory was made last nite, and it will stay with me forever...

The side effects of Disappointment

I had an interaction today with someone that was SO disappointing. This person just didn't get it...doesn't understand, didn't try to understand, and will likely never understand. Ever had that happen? It's really hard: it's tiring, draining, saddening, and a real bummer all around.

I got to sneak in some time with a friend who had had the same reaction to some things in her day...and we drove around avoiding going back to work for a bit: we were gathering all of our internal resources to face the rest of the day. And we did...we went back and carried on.

I believe we all seek and crave to be understood; listened to; affirmed; valued. We want it for ourselves and we want it for those we love. AND, when we don't receive it we feel very "let down", especially from those we respect and believe in.

The cool thing is that there is ONE who always understands, and who will never disappoint...and I have to remember that ultimately God knowing and valuing me is WAY MORE cool than what anyone here on earth can give me. Sometimes, it just helps to have someone "with skin on" who can reflect that wonderful attribute of God.

Heavenly Father: help the side effects of Disappointment to go away. Help me to know that even when not understood here, YOU always understand me. Also: please help me to do my best to give the gift of "knowing" and understanding others...I need help with that!

A prayer for mercy

God have mercy on me:

when I focus on myself and not on those around me who are in such great need
when I fail to count my blessings and so miss out on blessing others
when I don't put my "knees to the earth" and beg for your help
when I let my disappointment in people cloud my faith in your "miracle-making" ways
when I forget that you are the GOD who thinks long-term
when the sadness and hurts of others pierce my soul, and cause me to question your love
when I let the anger over the injustices I witness make me critical and judgemental
when I see bad choices get rewarded and so I doubt and sink into greater mistrust

I know you are so much bigger than my doubts and my frustration
I know that you experience those things too...and yet don't sin (unlike me...yikes!)
I know and believe that YOU are way more concerned for others than I can ever be
....and I know that you will make all things just and fair in your way and time
I know that you are in control...even when things/people seem out of control
I know that you are a GOD who gives hope, makes a way-where this is no way
I know that you bless us in ways I can't see and that you call me to trust you
I know you love me, and you love the people I love

God be merciful, bless me and those I am worried over with your comfort, your peace and your blessing.

I love you

Musings on a hot, hazy Sunday

I try to reserve Sundays for "Sabbath rest": I read, nap, write, spend time alone with God, etc. It doesn't always work out, but for the most part it's how I spend the day. Today, was no different. I slept in, read the paper, and then watch the Democratic Presidential Candidate debates. Then Charley and took a walk in the park, which was no "walk in the park" (HA!): it's hot, the grass is brown and crunchy and the air still and sticky.

A couple of things occurred to me:
1) We are so hungry for rain, and it is so needed. The last few phone conversations with my parents, my dad has ended each call with this "be sure to ask the Man Upstairs to give us some rain". Country-girl-at-heart that I am, I have been praying and will continue to pray for just that. This drought is real and is having real consequences for the farmers, for our land, for all of us. As I was walking today, I thought that the dry, dusty ground I was walking on was also a reflection for our souls.

I think this country is so thirsty for real, living water. We need it so badly. We are dry, parched and dieing a bit every day. We are hurting financially, we lack compassion, sensitivity and forgiveness towards each other, we are fighting over any and every issue we can think of.

Yep, I'm praying for rain to water this earth: for our crops and our yards to be refreshed (well, whatever is left of them!), but I'm also praying for God's word to come down, water our hearts and souls and give us a fresh new perspective and start. I'm praying that the old dried up parts will be burned off, and new fresh "starts" can really have a chance to grow. That rivers of compassion and grace will bring forth the fruit of cooperation and understanding: in both little and big things!

2) I watched a dad and a young girl play with a soccer ball at the park where I was walking Charley today. The dad was VERY SERIOUS about instruction around "stops", "kicks", and "dribbling", etc. The young girl was just loving being with her dad, that was obvious. So, she kicks a ball, and it goes past him and he says, "I don't have the right shoes on, that's why I missed it"...hmmm...

They kept playing and the father shot the ball past the daughter, who missed it. The daughter says, "I don't have my shin pads on and that's why I missed it" ...hmmm...

I thought to myself that it took less than about 4 minutes for a quick lesson to get learned and passed down: "when I fail, there's always some excuse I can give" (please don't get me wrong, I have no idea how hard parenting is, and I'm just observing one snapshot of it in time...I know that!)

However, this made me thing about how I handle things. When I miss the intended goal, when I over-shoot or don't catch a ball someone is clearly aiming for me, how do I react? Do I "roll with it" and correct and keep going, or do I think of an excuse for missing out? YIKES!

God, I'm going to fail, and others are going to fail me. Sometimes it just simply "is what it is", and sometimes the failure wasn't intended, it's not a sin, it's just part of the learning process; part of life. Of course, sometimes it is due to something wrong I, or others, have done and we need to confess, correct and move on. Please help me to have a gracious, merciful, humorous approach to mistakes. Help me not to indoctrinate myself or others with the need for excuses. Help me not to use that method to cheapen what could really be remarkable: treating others (and myself) like you would treat us...to experience true grace, loving kindness, long suffering, compassion and REAL LIFE! Please, help me with that...

Getting stopped in my tracks: literally

After a meeting on Friday with my boss, I went out to my car to head back to my office for a 1:00 meeting. I had 15 minutes to make it on time (if you know me, you know that's a HUGE thing)...I was also thinking I might even be able to sneak in a drive through order of iced-tea.

With that plan in mind, I walked out to my car, opened the door, put the key in the ignition and
NOTHING
actually, let me correct that: there was a clicking, a small "whirrr" and then again,
NOTHING

SO, I called roadside assistance who sent out someone to "jump start" my car, and
NOTHING, really! The guy was nice but couldn't get my car started and left, and so:
NOTHING

SO, I call roadside assistance again, who promised a tow truck would arrive within the hour to take my car to the dealer, and
NOTHING
Apparently the first tow truck company got called to a police accident,
SO, I called roadside assistance AGAIN, who promised to send tow truck company #2 within the next hour, and
NOTHING
SO, I called roadside assistance AGAIN (by the way every time I called I was on hold for about 10-20 minutes) and was told that a 3rd tow truck company would be called, and they would also keep their order in with the 2nd company just to make sure all of our bases were covered. I was informed that it would take 1 hour to 1 and 1/2 hours, and so
NOTHING
I called a 2nd company to help locate a tow company, who assured me someone would be out to help me WITHIN THE HOUR, and
NOTHING

Meanwhile I worked on a computer in the board room and from my Blackberry, cancelled my meetings, rearranged some things, etc. People were very nice: I had a couple of offers for water, rides, etc. Dianne stayed with me til 5:30, and my boss checked on me several times by phone. One of my staff came by to offer a ride, but I had to stay there to sign off on my car being towed away, and to provide the keys to my car. My sister ended up coming to pick me up and we went out to dinner and yes I did get a Margarita :-)

Finally, we received a phone call (again, thank God for cell phones) and
BINGO!!!!
a tow truck came and took my car away to be fixed. I got home around 7:45 p.m.

This summer I have experienced a theme around travel, cars and my "tightly knit" plans...the theme is that I am completely, unequivocally NOT in control. Apparently, I need many review lessons to get this solidly placed in my head/heart! This is one that the Heavenly Father is NOT LETTING GO of...and I'm thankful (although a bit admittedly frustrated at my lack of progress!)

In my evaluation this year, there were a couple of comments from colleagues about how I need to be more sensitive to others who aren't as driven as I am, or when they have a more laid back style than I do and I am seemingly not appreciative of that. OUCH! It was a but hurtful, and very "close to home"...but I decided to not just react, but to pray over those comments. Where I work, behaviors and character are as important in the evaluation process, as are outcomes and accomplishments. All in all, it's a very affirming process, and I am always grateful and humbled by it. If done right, it also allows for constructive growth opportunities.

You know what, there's some truth in those comments, and like most things in life, it's not an isolated truth...it applies to everything we do and all of who we are!

God, you made me and you know what I struggle with. Help me to step back, slow down and value people and the work you've given us in such a way that let's you take control and teaches me to let go a bit more and trust you a whole lot more! And if I really am this thick headed, then please keep slowing me down and stopping me in my tracks: literally. Apparently through the means of a tangerine, 2004 VW: your chosen instrument of learning right now.

AWP Encounters today:

Today was "one of those"...in fact yesterday was too! I guess you can "one of those" two days in a row? HA! You know the kind of day when:

• expectations are woefully NOT MET
• disappointment abounds; multiplies; and grows faster than a zit the nite of a date
• failure seems to be the result of everything you are doing

...you get the picture: MAJOR PITY PARTY!

In the midst of this I had two visits/"encounters" from AWP's (Angels With Perspective). My 1st was in the morning. A friend and colleague told me about working on a house she is restoring and how much fun it was...AND how much it helped her re-focus and maintain some perspective. Like me, she's passionate about what she does, but passion can quickly mean disappointment...focusing her energy elsewhere made the work less frustrating and more fulfilling. HELLO: a lesson for me!

In the afternoon I had a dear friend call to ask a business question and then proceed to tell me how I needed to

1. Count my blessings (my cool car, awesome dog, amazing sister, terrific parents, great friends, having a house in the Ripple...OK, the list really could go on, I really AM blessed beyond measure!)
2. Get my perspective back as it was obviously out of kilter....i.e. quit putting in tons of hours at work, let go of that which I can't affect, and have more F-U-N!
3. Understand that chocolate and a good pair of shoes really can make your life better! (and in that vein I bought a pair of IU crocs tonite and am drinking a jamocha fudge shake!)...it's WORKING!

I hope your not having "one of those days" this week. But if you are? I'm praying you have an encounter with an AWP...we all need them at one time or another. We also need to be an AWP for someone else when we see someone having "one of those"...

Upside down prayers on the couch

On Sunday evenings I usually try to "make space" for God and me. Just to "be"; to read the Bible more reflectively and to pray...to prayerfully listen vs. always giving God my LONG lists of requests (which right now includes rain among other things!)...

It's been a crazy week, by all accounts one of the crazier ones. Having some "down time" has been refreshing! Tonite I was laying on my couch a bit upside down (don't ask, but sometimes I do this and share a pillow with my dog...it's weird, but comfortable!)...and decided to "make space" for God...so that's where I spent my prayer time. Sometimes I kneel, sometimes I sit at the table, and sometimes I prop myself up in bed and " journal with Jesus". Tonite however, was different. I love it that God meets me in unusual places. Maybe it's because He knows more than anybody (since He created me!), how odd I am :-)

Here's some of what I prayed for:

*The students and teachers at Providence Cristo Rey: tomorrow is the 1st day of school and wow what a trip to get to this day! Also, for Sister Jean-for healing from her cold, for stamina, and humor. Wednesday is the dedication, and I can't wait to see what God has in store.
*RAIN! I'm a country girl at heart, and this dry, dusty weather doesn't just weary me, but it worries me...for farmers and their crops
*My parents: who have had to deal with so many losses and challenges and yet keep going. Oh, that I could ever be 1/2 of who they are!
*My staff: they have a lot on their plate and more is coming. They are great, but need to know that they are affirmed, that what they do is important, that they are valued...
*A couple of very dear friends who are going through so terribly hard times: for a measure of peace, for joy, for blessing, for feeling loved and comforted no matter what!
*And a couple of secrets...

Making space for the Creator is so important, and yet I often have to make myself do it...but I'm ALWAYS glad that I did. I encourage you to do the same...it doesn't matter where or when: you can even be upside down on your couch. God is so hungry to be with us, I believe He'll join us wherever we invite Him...and in any position!

Me and my........BIG MOUTH

SO...here's my reminder from Proverbs 10...the TOP 5

• v. 19 "When words are many, sin is not absent, but he who holds his tongues is wise."
• STOP TALKING AND HOLD YOUR TONGUE...THE RESULT WILL BE AVOIDING SIN AND SHOWING GODLY WISDOM
• v.20 "The tongue of the righteous is choice silver..."
• IF I'M WALKING WITH GOD, THE WORDS THAT COME OUT OF MY MOUTH WILL BE OF VALUE
• v. 21 "The lips of the righteous nourish many..."
• IF I'M WALKING WITH GOD, THE WORDS THAT COME OUT OF MY MOUTH WILL FEED THE SOULS OF OTHERS
• v. 31 "The mouth of the righteous brings forth wisdom..."
• IF I'M WALKING WITH GOD, THE WORDS THAT COME OUT OF MY MOUTH WILL BE WISE AND WILL GROW EXPONENTIALLY IN WISDOM
• v. 32 "The lips of the righteous know what is fitting...?
• IF I'M WALKING WITH GOD I WILL KNOW WHAT IS FITTING TO SAY, AND SAY ONLY THAT WHICH IS FITTING

If you know me at all, you know that I am RARELY at a loss for words. Some would say, "I think out loud with my mouth". It's pretty accurate. If I can talk something through, I can usually deal with it, makes sense of it, or reason it out. HOWEVER, sometimes where, with whom, and how I do that is not always beneficial to others, to myself...or respectful of God.

That's why I LOVE Proverbs. I think of this book as "God's cliff notes for how to behave"...it never fails to instruct me and it really keeps it simple.

SO, I'm praying Proverbs 12:13 "An evil man is trapped by his sinful talk, but a righteous man escapes trouble." Father, help me to watch my mouth...so that when I speak it is fitting, of value, nourishing to others...AND so that I escape trouble!

AMEN

A bunch of hot air...

that's what I came home to tonite. I'd been out of town for a whirlwind business trip, picked up my dog, opened the door assuming it would be cool and refreshing inside (because it was about 97 degrees outside), only to find...you guessed it: a bunch of hot air! I was expecting cool, I didn't get it.

Even though I was tired, I went in to "this can be fixed mode"...I bet I just need to re-set the thermostat or turn the break in the electrical box on/off". You guessed it: none of that worked. SO...with my panting dog beside me (it was now about 84 degrees inside) I called my service guy and he came out! YEAH! The good news is he could "rig up" my AC to work for now, so it's working hard to cool this house down. The bad news is I need a whole new unit (I was hoping to make it through one more season, but that was not to be!)

Tonite I am thankful for:
-People who will still come out at 10:30 at nite to work on something
-A fridge that has an ice maker: oh yeah!
-That I even have AC...I was in St. Louis the last 3 days, and the temperature
was in triple digits...it was really dangerous
-Being in my house...hot air and all: because even though things break down, there really is "no place like home"

Yours in hot air (and hopefully cool air very soon!)
Sher

Like a BRIDGE

over troubled water...I'm sure by now we've all seen footage or heard reports of the crumbling bridge in Minneapolis. It's horrible, and there are sad stories as well as stories of heroism and acts of kindness. I've never liked driving over bridges, they have always scared me. When I was little I would tell my dad that we shouldn't drive over a bridge because it might let us down. Dad would always reassure me, and it was usually words like this, "You are going to be OK, the structure is strong and sturdy and won't let us fall"...and by the time he had said those things we were usually already across and I was breathing a sigh of relief. I especially hate it when I'm stuck on a bridge waiting for traffic to move or a light to change...you know, being suspended over a highway or body of water, that's the worst! There's always that bit of fear that maybe the structure can't be trusted, and just at the time I'm on it, it weakens and collapses. It never has though. That got me thinking about all kinds of Bridges...

The dictionary says a Bridge is "a [syn: span]structure spanning and providing passage over a gap or barrier, such as a river or roadway." We put faith in structures everyday that provide passage over gaps or barriers. Sometimes they are obvious/straightforward structures: like bridges that we actually drive over. Sometimes they are people who help us "pass" over some pretty significant barriers in our lives. Without them we would surely drive straight into some high water or head toward a collision course full of pain and hurt. It could be a bridge that helps us "cross over" some large gaps in our life: like education, family connections, a job we are passionate about that makes life more fulfilling-more meaningful. Like the bridges you can see and use when you drive, these bridges occasionally betray our trust too. They crack and fall; letting us down, suspending us in air--desperately waiting to be rescued. They buckle under the weight and pressures of expectations and need and fail...all kinds of scenarios!

This week's news made me think about bridges. I will like driving over them even less than I usually do, but I certainly will think of them differently, because even when a bridge fails one can't abandon all bridges. I have some great bridges in my life...my parents, my sibs, some great friends and an awesome staff to work with: with these I can echo my Dad's words: " the structure is strong and steady and won't let us fall."

However, the ultimate Bridge in life that I can put my trust in is Jesus. That's the one Bridge that never, ever fails...it's always solid: a strong structure that will never fail. Jesus provides the passage from death to life, and I'm not just talking about hell and heaven. I'm talking about life here on earth. There is so much "out there" that speaks of death: the war in Iraq, disappointment with our leaders, terrible diseases that are robbing our friends and families of their very lives, acts so evil that it really does make me feel like we are free falling into some dark abyss. I need a Bridge that let's me cross over from that kind of hopelessness to a life of hope...for me that is Jesus.

John 5:24 (New International Version)
"I tell you the truth, whoever hears my word and believes him who sent me has eternal life and will not be condemned; he has crossed over from death to life.
by grayse
8/3/07

When God's answer is "NO"

Tonite our pastor continued his lessons on prayer. This one hit that "sweet spot"; spoke to me; "nailed it"...in other words, I GOT THE MESSAGE!

Talking through I Chronicles, he spoke about how God had honored David in so many ways:
1. He helped him successfully beat up on a bear and a lion
2. He gave him rocks and a sling and David beat up on a dragon
3. He put him with an army and together they beat up on their enemies

God gave David victory, honored him, heard his prayers (I presume these were "Yes's")...it was all good. However, David wanted more than anything to build a temple and God said:

NO

Yes, that is right, God said NO. Yikes...not the Hollywood ending we all expect of God, huh? I never really thought of this before, but here's what David did as a response to God's NO...

1. He sat before the Lord (I Chronicles 17:16)
David didn't pout; refuse to spend time with God; complain; lament; question...He did,
however keep company with God
2. He did "get historical" (my pastor's phrase) with God.
He remembered with God who God had been in his life, who he (David) was in God's eyes,
and who God is-always and forever, no matter what. He reviewed God's faithfulness and
blessing in the past, and believed that that was still true in the present and would also be
true in the future.
3. He got courageous and prayed, as he had prayed in the past when the answers were YES

It was such a good lesson for me and I've been thinking about it a lot this evening. SO...here's what I believe and decide:
*God is God. He gets to do what He wants to do, because He can
*God is good. He gets to say YES and He gets to say NO...and in both situations He is still being
good.
*My interpretation of God's NO's is almost always a negative one. Often my response is to
"take a time out"; to ask "WHY?"; to lament; to doubt; to be sad; to FORGET who God is and
who I am in Him.
*I want to be different. I want to respond like David. When I have a dream, whatever that dream is, and God says NO, I want to come before Him, remember who He is, who I am, and courageously keep praying and "keeping company with Him"
*I want to change. I want to be excited about any and all answers from God: the NO answer, the YES answer and that dreaded WAIT answer.

And you know what? Something else that's pretty painful for me? I want to do a better job with the leadership at work. I'm not equating them to God, but they do get to say YES and NO to things in my work life. I don't have to worry about whether they are good or not; or whether they are right or not: because I know the ONE who is GOOD and RIGHT all the time. SO...when they say NO (or nothing for awhile, which may become a NO), I need to
1. Keep company with God
2. Remember with Him all the answers He has provided through the months and years
("get historical")
3. Don't fret, become anxious, whine, or worry
4. Be courageous and keep praying

God is in control, when He puts me under the leadership of others--He is still in control. I choose to believe that; to stake my reputation and my life on it. God, help me live it out in a daily way; help me to remember who you are, who I am in you, and that I can trust you with the "NO's" of others, as well as the "Yes's". Amen and Amen

My siblings are grown ups?

It's TRUE...sort of. This past week my sister, brother and I spent a week together in South Haven, Michigan at a cottage just a couple of blocks from the beach. We had the BEST time...but it's still weird to think that we are really grown ups, and here's why:

1) My brother can still make me laugh so hard that I pee my pants

2) Ditto for snorting Diet Coke up my nose and spitting it out of my mouth at the same time

3) My sister can get me laughing so hard and long that I literally can't stop unless I remove myself from the situation (which happened in an outdoor museum last week)

4) We still have some of the same habits and fall into them quite easily (not pretty to the outsider, but we get them!)

5) They get me...even when I don't and know the rest of the world doesn't!

HOWEVER, even though those old patterns never die (I'm betting we'll be a huge pain to the staff in the nursing home!), I'm excited to see how well they risen to the challenge of adulthood. They both are respected, work hard (a HUGE attribute in our family), they are well-read, can engage in stimulating conversation, care about people and issues (even though we don't always agree!) and have overcome some pretty significant hurdles in life, while somehow maintaining a sense of optimism and humor about it all.

YEP, I'm pretty sure we are certified adults, it's just not so obvious on the outside!

The anecdote to work stress:

is an evening with someone who's known you since college and her two young sons...cause it just doesn't get any better.

The day started out bad and "went" south from there...you know, you've had them too! CRAZY schedule, lots of issues, etc....really makes you want to throw on a caftan and move to a remote village. Surely one wouldn't have to work so HARD to communicate through email, phone, fax, etc. :-)

Anyway, I rushed home and walked the dog and then April drove in with Nathan and Will (they now live in Portland, Maine and I don't get to see them often). We laughed, walked around Broad Ripple, ate on the roof of Bazbo's and had snocones at the SNOSHAK for desert. We sat on some rocks by the Monon and"people watched" and laughed at our own silly stories...then we road around, Radio Disney blaring, with the top down on the "Bug". It was a great way to end the day.

What is it about friends who've known you for a long time? You can sort of "pick up" where you have left off, not have to explain yourself and laugh yourself "wet in the pants" (not pretty, but there it is!)...what a gift. AND, you don't have to OVER explain yourself in an attempt to understand and be understood. Communication isn't so laborious or difficult. Again...what a gift.

It's a reminder...you need someone now and then who you can just be yourself with. Also, bad days pass, and usually are made better with old friends, cool kids, and...SNOCONES...

Proverbs 3:3 (New International Version)
"Let love and faithfulness never leave you: bind them around your neck,

write them on the tablet of your heart."

I started reading Proverbs again. I mark in my Bible every time I start to read and meditate in one of it's books. Guess what? I read Proverbs last July too. It must be something about Independence Day and my own need to seek out wisdom from the One I never, ever want to be independent from (and I have such an independent spirit...dangerously so!) Anyway, I'm always a bit surprised when I "land in a book" again, and sometimes the timing is so very interesting!

Anyway, I love how God's Holy Word is truly "living and active", and boy do I see just how true that is. He always uses it in a fresh, new way. That's certainly true of Proverbs 3:3...

Sitting on my porch swing this evening, I was thinking about why, in particular, love and faithfulness would need to be bound around my neck? I think it's because they are the two foundational outward signs of seeking God inwardly for wisdom. I also think it's because the neck connects the head and the heart. Why is that of interest? Well...it's with one's thoughts and mind that decisions are considered and made; but it's with one's heart that passion and feelings are displayed. I think those emotions are what mostly fuel our decisions: sometimes for good, and sometimes for bad...because we haven't harnessed them well. I also think I'm someone who needs to engage my head (my thoughts) over my feelings. It's easy for me to be passionate about many things, but to step back and think them through based on the wisdom of Divine Guidance, lessons learned by others and my self, etc. doesn't come so easily!

Father, tonite and this week, help me to be bound by love and faithfulness: to thoughtfully exercise them in all aspects of my life. Let how I use my head to think them through be scribed on the tablet of my heart...so that passion will fuel my steadfastness...

Amen and Amen!